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Torq's Ticklers 
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Joined: 23 Jun 2006, 17:58
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JOKE A LARTUS 1

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.

Marie leans over to Pierre and says, "Pierre, kiss me!" Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.
"What are you doing, Pierre?" says the startled Marie. "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!"
She smiles and they start kissing.

Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of chardonnay and pours it on her breasts.
"Pierre! What are you doing now?" asks the bewildered Marie.
"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!"
She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude, and things really steam up.

Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me much lower!"
Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in on her lap. He then strikes a match and sets the cognac on fire.
Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, "PIERRE, WHAT IN THE F - - K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

Our 'hero' stands and says defiantly, "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!"

What a guy!!!


Last edited by |MYT|Torq on 25 Nov 2006, 19:01, edited 1 time in total.



24 Nov 2006, 23:55
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LMFAO

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25 Nov 2006, 00:44
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOL !!


25 Nov 2006, 03:09
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LMAO LOL[/b]


25 Nov 2006, 06:14
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:D Funny one


25 Nov 2006, 09:48
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:hahahaha: I wouldnt recommend trying that with ur girlfriends! :lol:


25 Nov 2006, 13:12
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LOL :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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25 Nov 2006, 13:45
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JOKE ALARTUS 2
Tarzan & Jane

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him,
and
during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.

"Tarzan not know sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh,...Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong...but I'll show you how
to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.

"Here" she said, "you must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth showing Jane his considerable manhood,stepped
closer, and then gave her a mighty kick right in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed:

"What in the hell did you do that for?"

Tarzan replied "check for squirrel".


Last edited by |MYT|Torq on 25 Nov 2006, 19:00, edited 1 time in total.



25 Nov 2006, 18:48
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TORQ! :lol: I didnt know u were such a comedian! ;)


25 Nov 2006, 18:53
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LOL, Torq! :twisted: :hahahaha:


25 Nov 2006, 19:23
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HAHAHAHAHAHA NICE ONE AGAIN M8


25 Nov 2006, 20:25
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:D heh i love u mate


25 Nov 2006, 23:20
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|MYT|Pottu wrote:
:D heh i love u mate

***!


25 Nov 2006, 23:26
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OMG nice.......really nice Torq :D


26 Nov 2006, 05:21
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JOKE ALARTUS 3

Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio:

MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
>>>
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sonneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by
himself."
>>>
MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
>>>
JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
Superbike racing:
"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a
hard on now."
>>>
Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on
This Morning:
"She was practicing fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
>>>
WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
formidable lead:
"Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
>>>
ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
>>>
CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire
match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe:
"With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."
>>>
CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like
this."
>>>
JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"


26 Nov 2006, 19:42
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