Torq's Ticklers

[|MYT|Jahhhh]

[|MYT|Alexis]

[smilie=go.gif] he wearing knickers

[Taran]

Mom's Letter to Son:


My dear Son,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved
20miles.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last Person who stayed here took
the house numbers with him for his new house so he would not
have to change his address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to
take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same
too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right
above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3
shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first
time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too
heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off
and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the
grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took your wife to our club's poolside. The manager is Badman.He
told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were
confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a
girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him
out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him there.


There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love - Mom.

P.S. SON, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized,
I had already sealed off this letter.

[Verwolf]

xD lol alreayd at the start few dumb things

>Slow writing
>Moving to accident point...

@ Bond one

[Bagwell]

ha ha ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ahaah h ahhahahhahahah

[|MYT|Alexis]

good one....

[|MYT|Torq]

Good One...................

[|MYT|Cger]

very good one m8
although i already knew the last part

[Bagwell]

P.S. SON, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized,
I had already sealed off this letter.

Haven't we all gotten this message

[Taran]

i read long ago. dunno if u guys read it already....

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his
mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Bobby was a bit of a
troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him
if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your
birthday." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to
write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like
a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my
birthday.
Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a
fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a
good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a
bike.



Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he
wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby
looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby's mother told him.


Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went
into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was
there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped
the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into
the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down
with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR M OM . IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN,
SEND THE BIKE! !!!!!!!!!

[|MYT|Cger]

reminds me of a simpons episode

[Verwolf]

[smilie=tongue0013.gif]

[|MYT|Alexis]

[Wes]

Very Nice ones

[Taran]

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."