Torq's Ticklers

[|MYT|Cger]

hehehehehe

[CodeBlack]

hahhaa

[Bagwell]

Stupid Questions

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why cant woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my names Bob. Im an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. If the professor on Gilligans Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why cant he fix a hole in a boat?

13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? Theyre both dogs.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesnt he buy his dinner?

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that theres billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you theres wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

[CodeBlack]

lolz

[Verwolf]

lol at 5th

[|MYT|Cger]

Stupid Questions
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

probably not as a dream is based on what you experience during the day

but good questions; i know something similar: 230 facts noone needs to know but it isn??t in english

[|MYT|Serge]

Stupid Questions
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

probably not as a dream is based on what you experience during the day

but good questions; i know something similar: 230 facts noone needs to know but it isn??t in english

http://translate.google.com/translate_t?langpair=de|en

[|MYT|Cger]

okay here you go
mistakes are for free and will just make it funnier
Edit: and there are a lot in there

1st The average exit speed of ketchup from the bottle is about 40 km / year.
2nd Bumblebees are the only animals that can fly backwards.
3rd Johann Wolfgang von Goethe could not bear the noise of dogs.
4th If you lick a stamp, u get about one and a quater Kalorien.
5th For the first 4 trains at chess, there are 318979564000different ways .
6th Until 1980, there was not a single phone in Bhutan.
7th Kermit the Frog is left-handed.
8th Most giraffes are bisexual.
9th To cook a Strau??enei, you need 40 minutes.
10th The onemillionst decimal place of pi is a 9
11st The oldest known goldfish was 41 years old. He was named Fred.
12nd Only 55 percent of Americans know that the sun is a star.
13rd Buzz Aldrin was the first person to the moon in the stools.
14th In Texas, it is prohibited to foreign cows to be sprayed with graffiti.
15th In Nebraska parents can be punished if their children belch during a church service.
16th Mountain goats in Montanaare often encountered in a fight so violently that their heads together that even the hooves fall.
17th The orgasm a pig takes 30 minutes.
18th In Los Angeles, the live more Samoaner than in Samoa itself
19th In Michigan the hair of women is legitimate property of the husband.
20th The tone of most american horns is an F.

21st Celery has "negative" calories. It costs more calories a bar to eat celery than it actually brings.
22nd All swans in England are owned by the Queen.
23rd The human skull has 22 different bones. One of them was discovered by Goethe.
24th An average person produces about 14,000 liters of sweat in his life.
25th William Howard Taft was the only U.S. president to stuck in a bathtub in the White House
26th Churchill was born during a dance event at the ladies room.
27th A sheet of paper can not be folded more than nine times in the middle.
28th The Aztec ruler Montezuma had a nephew named Cuitlahac. The name roughly translated means "Great bunch of s*** ".
29th Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb, was afraid of the dark.
30th If you allowyour the finger nails to grow a whole lifetime long, this would lead to a total length of about 58 meters.

31st In 1976 a woman from Los Angeles married a 50 pound heavy rock.
32nd With the beer, which is an average German citizens time of his life drinking, settled in about 200 swimming pools filled.
33rd Canada imported about 822 daily hockey clubs, which were made in Russia.
34th Oliver Cromwell was 2 years after his death, hanged and decapitated.
35th Shrimps have the heart in the head.
36th In the language of the Eskimos, there is no word for "headache".
37th The astronomer Tycho Brahe lost his nose in a duel with one of his students. They argued that because of a mathematical calculation.
38th The Atlantic is saltier than the Pacific.
39th In St. Louis, it is firefighters prohibited by law, women to save the only one wearing a nightdress. For the creation of decent clothing was always enough time.
40th In the U.S. state of Indiana has a law that erections in public bans.

41st The German word with the most consonants in a row is called "cold sweat".
42nd Cockroaches, there was already before the dinosaurs appeared on Earth.
43rd The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.
44th The purchase of the Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it a recipe for brewing beer is made.
45th Sheep never drink from flowing waters.
46th Musicians in Kenya are often on stage locked in cages so that they can not steal instruments, mostly the club owners.
47th The pipes under water in Florida is prohibited.
48th In South Dakota is the falling asleep in a cheese factory prohibited by law.
49th In Oklahoma is the horror of dogs banned by grimace.
50th One woman can in Minnesota 30 days threaten prison if they bear a Santa Claus costume.

51st In Morrisville, Pennsylvania requires a woman to make government approval.
52nd A woman in Memphis may be driving .... but according to the law only when a man in front of the vehicle herl?¤uft and a red flag swings to entgegenkommende pedestrians and cars to warn.
53rd In Arkansas, it is prohibited husbands, their wives more than once a month to beat.
54th In Minnesota prohibits a law, male and female underwear side by side on a clothesline to hang.
55th In Tennessee, it is prohibited by law, with the lasso fish to catch.
56th In Maryland must be a fine expected when oysters before Ausschl??rfen ill-treated.
57th In Florida, women on Sunday afternoon not parachute jumping.
58th We breathe only through a nostril; approximately every 15 minutes, the exchange.
59th According to Oxford English Dictionary pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the longest word in the English language.
60th Zwinkern women twice as often as men.

61st In the McMurdo Station, Antarctica, there is even an ATM.
62nd In Pennsylvania, there is a law requiring motorists, a horse-drawn vehicle meets his car off the road and must take a Plane zuzudecken, the ambient color. If the horses remain stubborn to respond, he must dismantle his car and the parts hidden under bushes.
63rd The Persian Grand Ismael Abdul Kassem, in the 10th Century lived, always led with his entire library. The 117,000 volumes were transported to 400 camels, which were trained in alphabetical order to run.
64th Due to the high concentration of sulfur in the soil of the Andes in Peru, there are chickens, eggs with the blue shell.
65th The first product on which there was a barcode was Wrigley's gum.
66th The span of the wing of a Boeing 747 is longer than the distance from the Wright brothers at their first flight back.
67th The first commercial producer of condoms was the company Goodyear.
68th James Doohan, Scotty, the ship's engineer of the Enterprise, plays, missing the middle finger of right hand.
69th 30 million Americans have a gap between the cutting teeth.
70th In Illinois, it is forbidden to poodle with the opera houses.

71st Pfennigs to collect is actually banned in Germany. There is a law against hoarding of money.
72nd In 1997, Microsoft more than half a billion dollars telephone costs to requests from users to answer the problems with the software. That was more money than it is for the development of the software has been issued for which the people called.
73rd Ants are being left to right, if they are poisoned.
74th Who his head against a wall thunders, consumed 150 calories per hour.
75th A cockroach can still nine days without head live before they die.
76th In Nogales, Arizona) may not be visible braces.
77th It is impossible for a person with open eyes to sleep.
78th The U.S. airline American Airlines saved in a year's 70,000 mark, only because the salad the first class Olive omitted.
79th You can not sneeze at the same time and the eyes open.
80th Mel Blanc, the American synchronous voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.

81st The growth rate for mass murder in the office was in the U.S. in the past ten years with 200,000 percent.
82nd The Arabic numerals are actually from India.
83rd In the animal kingdom chimpanzees hold the record for the fastest Quickies: three seconds.
84th In Uruguay it is prohibited to duellieren, except one is registered blood donors.
85th In 1973, the Swedish S????warenfabrikant Roland Ohisson of Falkenberg in a coffin made of pure chocolate buried.
86th The rape harvest more seeds fall to the ground than in the sowing.
87th In Italy it is prohibited to coffins of other material as Nu??schalen or wood.
88th Hypnosis is in the public schools in San Diego.
89th At the Vienna Opera Ball, the men usually flies the white tails, so that they differ from the waiters.
90th Mark Twain had a patent for a self scrapbook.

91st It is impossible to stop by air to commit suicide.
92nd Fingernails grow with 0.000000047 inches per second.
93rd The Horn Nashorns one is just a hair.
94th In the Bible is no mention that Adam and Eve eat an apple.
95th In Tokyo, the house numbers assigned in the order in which the building permits are granted.
96th Napoleon was afraid of cats.
97th In Joliet / Illinois, the false statement of the place-name punished.
98th A wife in Saudi Arabia can divorce if they are supported by her husband gets no coffee.
99th Before introducing a law to Kotbeseitigung by the dog owners were in New York each year 40 million pounds of dog dirt from the city clean.
100th Eskimos have hundreds of words for "ice", but none for "Hello".

101st The ancient Egyptians shaved the eyebrows to the death of a cat betrauern.
102nd In Tranton / New Jersey can of soup Schl??rfen legally sanctioned.
103rd There are in the U.S. exactly 18 doctors, Dr. Doctor hot.
104th In Italian there are only four words with "h".
105th Most tropical fish could survive in an aquarium, filled with human blood.
106th 53% of Germans do not know how to "semolina porridge" writes.
107th Contrary to the phrase horses are not able to "kotzen".
108th 66% of all magazines, along U.S. Highways discarded are pornographic.
109th The bank in Vernal / Utah was built from bricks, which were delivered by mail - each brick 7 per packet. It was found that this variant was cheaper than the brick by ship from Salt Lake City to come.
110th Married men often sleep on the right side of the bed.

111st In Saco, Missouri, women have their hats festbinden if these timid people, to frighten children or animals.
112nd In Monroe, Utah it is required by law, the two dance at the end of zwischeneinander always so much space should allow you the daylight between them can see.
113rd In Massachusetts is illegal since Christmas 1659. So far there was no one who wanted to change the law.
114th In Alabama, the local judge pronounce the death penalty if someone a pinch of salt on railroad tracks spreads.
115th 40% of men and 16% of women are in Klobrillen in public toilets.
116th Each year more people are killed by donkeys than plane crashes.
117th Reindeer like to eat bananas.
118th Coca-Cola was originally a green color.
119th In Japan, there are square watermelons. These can be significantly better pile.
120th Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if they are injected intravenously.

121st In the Kingdom of Bhutan, all residents officially on New Year's Day a year older.
122nd The glue on Israeli postage stamps is kosher.
123rd 1980, in a hospital in Las Vegas dismissed several employees, which is based on the death of patients had bet.
124th England was the first country in the world, the stamps herausbrachte. But until now has left its marks have never been the country's own name printed.
125th Hong Kong is the city with the most Rolls Royce per capita.
126th The Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia has twice as many bathrooms than ever necessary.
127th Until 1965, in Sweden or to the left lane driven side. The changeover took place on a working day at 5 clock early. All traffic came to a standstill at the time when all road users on time the sides changed.
128th The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung. It was 2000 years ago the ancient Egyptians to apply.
129th In the games in ancient Rome, there was only one rule: It would not mind his opponents ausstechen. Those who did, was immediately disqualified.
130th Until the mid-80'er years has been an IBM-compatible PC can only be regarded as 100% compatible recognised if the Microsoft Flight Simulator anstandslos ran to him

131st 1983 created a Japanese artist, a copy of the Mona Lisa ... toast.
132nd 1984 began a Canadian farmer, his cows as advertising space for rent.
133rd Most lipsticks contain fish bones.
134th The lighter was before the matches invented.
135th The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters.
136th Cows can not Kotzen.
137th In Washington D.C. There are more than Telephone residents.
138th Flying only make a leap backwards before they take off.
139th In the U.S. there are more plastic flamingos than real.
140th In the White House, there are a total of 13,092 knives, forks and spoons.

141st The elephant is the only mammal that can not jump.
142nd Giraffes can their ears with the tongue clean.
143rd Bats always turn left when they leave their cave.
144th Louis XIV of France took in his life only 3x in a bathroom; none of them was voluntary.
145th The electric chair was designed by a dentist invented.
146th The Geschnatter of ducks produced no response.
147th On average, one of 300 Americans fear of pink flamingos.
148th Every year around 40,000 to hurt Americans on the toilet.
149th Alfred Hitchcock had no navel. This "disappeared" after surgery.
150th A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.

151st Emus and kangaroos are not in a position to run backward. Therefore, they are also Australia's coat of arms animals.
152nd If gold fish in dark rooms, they are white.
153rd 97% of paper money of America contains residues of cocaine.
154th Around one third of all Americans flush the press while they are still sitting on the toilet.
155th Donald Duck comics were once banned in Finland because he wore no pants.
156th The bulbs of the New York subway system will glow plug in a clockwise and counterclockwise removed, so exactly the opposite than usual. It also has a good reason: If these bulbs stolen, the thief can not do anything with it ...
157th If you 8 years, 7 months and 6 days continuously screams, has looked at enough energy to a cup of coffee to cook.
158th Einstein was up to his 9.Geburtstag not speak fluently. His parents gave him was for the mentally disabled.
159th At a Big Mac from McDonald's are on average 178 Sesamk?¶rnchen.
160th All watches in the film "Pulp Fiction" are at 4.20 clock.

161st Eingewachsene toenails are hereditary.
162nd Napoleon created his battle plans in a sandbox.
163rd Virginia Woolf wrote all her books standing.
164th Car drivers tend to drive faster when they are surrounded by other vehicles.
165th In the film "Casablanca" says Humphrey Bogart, not a single time the phrase "Play it again, Sam".
166th Goethe was allegedly only able to write, if a angefaulter apple in the drawer of his desk was.
167th 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
168th The likelihood is greater by a champagne corks to be killed than by a poisonous spider.
169th Imprisoned in a sealed room, would be only a Kohledioxidvergiftung to die than to lack of oxygen.
170th The Save icon in Microsoft programs such as Word or Excel displays a diskette containing seitenverkehrtem shutter.

171st The longest flight of a Haushuhns took thirteen seconds.
172nd In Sanskrit, the word "war" translated means "desire for more cows."
173rd For his legendary Trans-Atlantic flight, Charles Lindbergh just 4 sandwiches.
174th To the pines a Krokodils to escape, this must be both thumb in the eye ram ... it will immediately let go.
175th In 2.Weltkrieg bomb killed the first of the Allies on Berlin the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
176th The oldest recipe in the world for beer.
177th It is possible, a cow heraufzuf??hren a staircase. Impossible, however, the stairs again herunterzuf??hren.
178th Measured by weight, hamburgers cost more than a new car.
179th On average 100 people a year choke to pens Berne.
180th 90% of all women who enter a department store, turn right.

181st Cucumbers are the only food that cockroaches not touch.
182nd The eye of a ostrich is bigger than its brain.
183rd Cat urine glows under black light.
184th In Skat leaf is the heart king only king without the beard.
185th The term "skyscraper" was first used in 1888 to create a building elfst?¶ckiges to describe.
186th The blood of a Grash??pfers is white.
187th Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
188th Owls are the only birds that recognize the color blue.
189th A golf ball has 360 wells.
190th Parasites represent about 0.01% of our body weight.

191st The human stomach needs of all its 2 weeks mucous completely regenerate. Otherwise he would digest itself.
192nd Men can read smaller font better than women, to hear them better.
193rd Polar bears are "left".
194th Humans and pigs are the only creatures with a sunburn can get.
195th In the Caribbean there are oysters, to climb trees.
196th Carnivores do not eat animals, by a lightning strike killed.
197th On 13 August 1903 was the Briton William Shortis after more than three days under the corpse of his 224 pound wife Emily serious free. She was on the stairs ausgerutscht and liked him. Besorgte friends had asserted the police.
198th The handbook for employees of the U.S. tax authority also contains references to the collection of taxes after a nuclear war.
199th The first automobile accident occurred in 1896.
200th The last words of former French President Charles de Gaulle were: "It hurts."

201st Some Saints were dirty, because they believed it brings them closer to God. The Holy washed Abraham, 50 years his hands and feet. The Holy Sylvia washed nothing but their fingertips.
202nd 85% of all their people can switch to a roll.
203rd Scientists have 200,000 ostriches over eight years. Not a single bouquet at this time put his head in the sand.
204th Between 1804 and 1873 were included in the 1676 U.S. patents on various forms of washing machines granted.
205th The Bible is the book meistgestohlene in public libraries.
206th Despite the many rats, the slums of New York City populate, a year on average, only 311 people bitten by them. However, each year about 1519 residents of other New Yorkern bitten.
207th Gr??beln When most people look right above the lies and other creative processes to the top left. This is the fact that the right brain for rational and left for the creative processes is responsible.
208th The voice of the male-HB is backward abgespieltes Arabic.
209th The age of a crocodile leather handbag can be calculated according to the color of the ashes of the burned leather.
210th The statement "Tomorrow is the weather like today is consistent with a probability of one third.

211st Supermarkets are usually so constructed that one of the entrance to fund a left curve running.
212nd All flu epidemics have had their origin in China.
213rd Humans or animals are saved, salvaged only deaths and articles
214th The production value of a 1-penny coin is 2.1 pfennigs.
215th In China, is it provocative, with entangled arms against someone. Similarly, does it when his arms in the hips stemmt.
216th Squids can commit suicide by their own tentacle swallow.
217th Stutterers do not stutter when they talk with animals.
218th Adolf Hitler had no driving licence.
219th In the House of the miserly Multimilliard?¤rs J. Paul Getty, there was a payphone.
220th The Leaning Tower of Pisa is not only wrong, he also has a breakpoint. Since the tower during the construction began to tilt, the upper part slightly angled up to deal with the static balance.

221st Coca Cola was originally intended as a medicine for drug addicts.
222nd Indians, only when the weather war. Rain would have the glue, they bow and arrows used dissolved.
223rd 20% of all car accidents in Sweden are caused by moose.
224th In 1845 in Boston, possession of your own bathtub from sanitary reasons - unless the doctor had prescribed.
225th Colognes was originally intended as a remedy for the plague invented.
226th In the satirical magazine "Titanic" there was once a picture of a crucifix with the signature: "I was a can." The magazine was sued shortly thereafter - by the German tinplate industry.
227th After all findings of aeronautics is the Hummel flightless.
228th Hear crickets with the knees.
229th The silk Springer caterpillar has 12 brains.
230th Snails can have up to three years uninterrupted sleep.

231st Hummingbirds can not walk.
232nd In Kentucky, there is a law that the inhabitants of a bathroom per year requires.
233rd Turkeys rigid during heavy rains often in the sky and drown.
234th Crocodiles can not herausstrecken their tongues.
235th Giraffes can not cough.
236th On the surface of the skin of a human beings to live longer than people on the surface of the earth.
237th In the U.S. there are more psychoanalysts as a letter carrier.
238th Among psychiatrists, there are twice as many suicides in the year as among their patients.
239th In the human neck muscles are, today, except effects, however formerly served on the ears.
240th Left to grow the nails on the left hand faster, right on the right.

241st "Abracadabra" was originally a magic word to combat hay fever.
242nd The packaging of cornflakes contains more nutrients than their content.
243rd Tongue prints of people are as unique as their fingerprints.
244th The height of the Eiffel Tower in Paris varies, depending on the outdoor temperature by 15 cm.
245th "Sahel" means "the shore of sausages".
246th The Zahnfu??garnele with their scissors so sharp cracking produce, that it stunned its prey and sometimes even killed.
247th Housefly live flies in bottles imprisoned more than twice as long as their free flying kind.
248th The annual cost of advertising for Coca-Cola sufficient to every family on earth to give a bottle.
249th You can not elbow its own lick
250th Every year in the United States left in 2500 for use of right-made objects were killed.

[CodeBlack]

too much to read

[Taran]

180th 90% of all women who enter a department store, turn right.

I cant agree with this. SERGE know WHY

[|MYT|Cger]

180th 90% of all women who enter a department store, turn right.

I cant agree with this. SERGE know WHY

did u really read that far?

too much to read

that is why its called 250 things noone wants to know

[CodeBlack]

lol

[Reypointss]

Lol, thats alot to read.

[|MYT|Torq]

Another Shorty.....


Subject: blonde
>
>
>
>
>
> Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
>
> A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing.
>
>
> Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole,
> but we don't have a ladder.'
>
>
> The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few
> bolts and laid the flagpole down.
>
> She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and
> announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.
>
> Then, she walked off.
>
> Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde! We need the height
> and she gives us the bloody length.'

[Sinaas]

nice one m8