those two bags...!!!
nice Torq...more more more!
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|MYT|Aciidc0der
- Inactive Member
- Posts: 399
- Joined: 24 Jul 2006, 02:26
- Location: México
-
|MYT|Torq
- Clan Leader
- Posts: 5723
- Joined: 23 Jun 2006, 17:58
- Discord: |MYT|Torq#8727
- Location: UK
YET ANOTHER ONE
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in
>Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she
>pointed
>to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a
>woman drink?"
>
>
>The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the
>end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and
>bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"
>
>The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down. She
>turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing
>the
>same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
>Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and
>said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
>
>The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's
>your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep
>calling her the ballerina?"
>
> The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to
> be a ballerina!"
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in
>Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she
>pointed
>to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a
>woman drink?"
>
>
>The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the
>end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and
>bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"
>
>The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down. She
>turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing
>the
>same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
>Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and
>said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
>
>The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's
>your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep
>calling her the ballerina?"
>
> The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to
> be a ballerina!"
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|MYT|Aciidc0der
- Inactive Member
- Posts: 399
- Joined: 24 Jul 2006, 02:26
- Location: México
-
Griffin
- Ex-MYT
- Posts: 144
- Joined: 06 May 2006, 21:14
- Location: UK (Cornwall)
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss
program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him
a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old girl dressed in nothing but a
pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later,
Huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing
happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has
lost 10lb. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day, 20 lb. program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is
wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck
that reads, "If you catch me you can have me"
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in
excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he
does he gives it to her hard until all he can do is wheeze. For the
next four days, the same routine happens.
Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to
discover that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day,
50lb.program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative.
"This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I
haven't felt this good in years."
SCROLL DOWN
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he
finds a huge, black hairy male standing there wearing nothing but
pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch
you, you're mine."
program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him
a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old girl dressed in nothing but a
pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later,
Huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing
happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has
lost 10lb. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day, 20 lb. program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is
wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck
that reads, "If you catch me you can have me"
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in
excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he
does he gives it to her hard until all he can do is wheeze. For the
next four days, the same routine happens.
Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to
discover that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day,
50lb.program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative.
"This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I
haven't felt this good in years."
SCROLL DOWN
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he
finds a huge, black hairy male standing there wearing nothing but
pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch
you, you're mine."
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|MYT|Jahhhh
- Inactive Member
- Posts: 716
- Joined: 17 Aug 2005, 05:32
- Location: Estonia
- Contact: Website
Good one Griffin mate 
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|MYT|Torq
- Clan Leader
- Posts: 5723
- Joined: 23 Jun 2006, 17:58
- Discord: |MYT|Torq#8727
- Location: UK
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with
four young mothers and their small children...
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
>>>>
four young mothers and their small children...
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
>>>>
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Mark
- Ex-MYT
- Posts: 421
- Joined: 05 Mar 2006, 07:40
- Location: s.e. uk
-
|MYT|Aciidc0der
- Inactive Member
- Posts: 399
- Joined: 24 Jul 2006, 02:26
- Location: México
-
|MYT|Jahhhh
- Inactive Member
- Posts: 716
- Joined: 17 Aug 2005, 05:32
- Location: Estonia
- Contact: Website
LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA LOL HAHA
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|MYT|Alexis
- Senior Member
- Posts: 1078
- Joined: 08 Sep 2007, 18:46
- Location: Universe
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|MYT|Torq
- Clan Leader
- Posts: 5723
- Joined: 23 Jun 2006, 17:58
- Discord: |MYT|Torq#8727
- Location: UK
ANOTHER TICKLER>>
WHICH PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?
>>
>>
>>
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question,
>>
>> "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?"
>>
>> Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
>>
>> Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
>>
>> Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."
>>
>> Wow, what a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
>>
>> Little Oscar raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."
>>
>> The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
>>
>> "Now Oscar, why do you think it would be your legs?"
>>
>> Little Oscar said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night.
Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh
>> God, I'm
>>
>> coming!"
>>
>> "If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
>>
>>
>>
>> The Nun fainted!
WHICH PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?
>>
>>
>>
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question,
>>
>> "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?"
>>
>> Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
>>
>> Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
>>
>> Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."
>>
>> Wow, what a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
>>
>> Little Oscar raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."
>>
>> The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
>>
>> "Now Oscar, why do you think it would be your legs?"
>>
>> Little Oscar said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night.
Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh
>> God, I'm
>>
>> coming!"
>>
>> "If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
>>
>>
>>
>> The Nun fainted!
-
|MYT|Aciidc0der
- Inactive Member
- Posts: 399
- Joined: 24 Jul 2006, 02:26
- Location: México
-
|MYT|Torq
- Clan Leader
- Posts: 5723
- Joined: 23 Jun 2006, 17:58
- Discord: |MYT|Torq#8727
- Location: UK
MORE ADULT JOKALARTUS
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221
ANOTHER
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221
ANOTHER
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
-
|MYT|Aciidc0der
- Inactive Member
- Posts: 399
- Joined: 24 Jul 2006, 02:26
- Location: México
-
|MYT|Torq
- Clan Leader
- Posts: 5723
- Joined: 23 Jun 2006, 17:58
- Discord: |MYT|Torq#8727
- Location: UK
YET MORE
Subject: FW: The Elephant Operation
Frank can't obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and
there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.
Frank asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they take the muscles
from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, inserts them in the base of his penis,
and hope for the best.
Frank says that sounds pretty scary, but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier,
so he says "OK".
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about six weeks later he gives
Frank the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".
Frank takes his wife out to dinner.
While at dinner Frank starts feeling incredible pressure in his pants.
It gets unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.
No sooner does he do this, his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table,
grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants.
His wife sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look on her face.
She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"
With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face,
Frank says, "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass."
Subject: FW: The Elephant Operation
Frank can't obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and
there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.
Frank asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they take the muscles
from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, inserts them in the base of his penis,
and hope for the best.
Frank says that sounds pretty scary, but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier,
so he says "OK".
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about six weeks later he gives
Frank the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".
Frank takes his wife out to dinner.
While at dinner Frank starts feeling incredible pressure in his pants.
It gets unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.
No sooner does he do this, his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table,
grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants.
His wife sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look on her face.
She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"
With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face,
Frank says, "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass."